Sunday

The English

I like the English, honest to God I really do. In fact, I’m quite proud of my English heritage despite my tendency to fixate on my Polish background for the main reason that it plays for much better comedic fodder at social gathers. Regardless, I do like the English as a people, but have become quite aware of their many quirks (a.k.a, flaws) during my short three day stay here. The three most notable things are as such:


LIMPING

Walking around the Silverstone racetrack now for two days, I have noticed a shockingly large number of people limping. Now, I'm not talk about extremity-dragging limps, but simply a general gaff in one's gate that seems to come from a past ankle, knee or hip injury. Regardless, whether this is a result of a poor healthcare system or insufficient footwear, it really needs to be addressed.


TALKING WITH THEIR TEETH

Ok, I'm not exactly breaking new ground here by saying that the English have "challenged" teeth. We're all aware that instead of the uniform pearly-whites that Americans are used to, English teeth cent to be brown in color, oblong, and seemingly placed in their mouth at random. But that’s not my main observation here. The truly odd part is that when they speak, they do so in a way that specifically showcases their dental dilemma. Whereas a simple “Hello” would easily cover the problem at hand, they decide to gleefully belt out a “Ha-looow!” while showing molars and bicuspids that I only see in the mirror at my dentist's office. If I had teeth like that, I would resort to grunts and smoke signals


FRUMPY WOMEN

Yeah, I SAID it. So what! English women suffer from chronic case of "The Frump", and I refuse to become a martyr for calling it out. They all seem to be wonderful bright-eyed women, but they also seem to have a penchant for fried foods and ill-fitting jeans.

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